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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  May 13, 2013 7:30pm-8:01pm PDT

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i hope you guys had a good weekend. i had a very nice weekend. i spent a good two minute of it watching the kentucky derby. ( laughter ) the rest of it i spent watching the 142nd annual convention of the national rifle association held this year in park slope brook-- oh, no, i mean-- i'm sorry, houston, texas. where high-velocity projectile lovers of one stripe came together to raise their hands in the air! not to party like they just don't care about high-5 each other with their non-gun-holding hands. ( laughter ) it was to celebrate the single issue-- the members of the national rifle association. >> the obama liberals want to disregard the 10th amendment and trying to implement obamacare and take away our liberty. >> jon: i'm sorry, general patton. i-- ( laughter )
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anyway, obama's health care reform is designed to take your liberties. focusok gun and rifle-related issues so-- >> wherey are they going after chaplains in the military saying they can't evangelize and proselytize? ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> jon: my guess is that word does not mean what iening it might mine. again, it was very important. the war on christians there. but getting back to guns. >> we're creating jobs, day in and day out in this state. >> in benghazi, on september the 11th of last year. >> the mayor of new york now wants to ban public displays of legal tobacco products. ( laughter )
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gli know how upset you get, sarah palin, when you're in new york and-- ( laughter ) walk into a bodaiga and can't find your philly blunts. look. you've been here twice, twice. ( cheers and applause ). and once because mccain made you so n. ney. wait a minute, all these people-- this is the same lineup with the same laundry list of conservative grievances that we saw at cpac a month and a half another just with better introductions. >> ♪ ♪ >> yeah! ( cheers and applause ) welcome to texas, ladies and gentlemen. >> jon: wow. if that dude doesn't have a c.m.t. show by tomorrow, lock,
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stock and-- um, um-- >> let's see. i the third one i can't. sorry. oops. >> jon: yeah, oops. that's what it is, lock, stock, and um, um, i forgot the third one, oops. i swear these conservative guys are like carneys upon the sausage and pepper trucks at street fairs. it's like when you go to ge and there's the sausage and sandwich guy, and then guto the upper broadway festival and it's the same sausage guy. and you go to the puerto rico day's parade, and st. 58's, and any cultural event guto you will see the same sausage truck. except for that one. that's a different parade. that's different. >> i believe you can get pep wers that as well. ( laughter )
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look, eventually the speaksers did get to guns and how upset they are at the way that their opponents are fighting. >> the president is fond of using emotion and, unfortunately, disregarding the facts. >> we have leaders who practice the politics of emotion. >> we will fight their tactics of fear. we will fight their tactics of darkness! >> jon: yes! yes! yes! fight their darkness, you will! ( laughter ) yes! fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. hate, hate leads to hate ( bleep ). ( laughter ) i don't-- how this quote ends, i do not know. all right, luke skied walker, glenn beck, fear monthering is wrong. you're write rite. please make your point about guns in a rational and calm way. >> the only difference between your mom and sister getting raped and then walking home unmolested is a gun.
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>> jon: you-- you are aware that fear is an emotion, right? i mean, it's one of the big ones, along with-- there's three of them, i think-- guilt, and fear and um, um-- i forgot the third. ( laughter ) oops. ( applause ) continue, n.r.a. convention, reason. >> welcome to the united states of america where a dead terrorist bomb frer chechnya has more rights than an american citizen. >> this is a fight for the future of freedom! >> lying in wait right now is a terrorist, a deranged school shooter, a kidnapper, a rapist, añi murderer, waiting and planng and plotting. ( laughter )
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( applause ) ( cheers ) >> jon: yes, he's talkin' about you people! yup, there's a terrorist and criminals waiting and plotting, and because of this guy thiek get a gun on the spirnt with no background checks. you're welcome, everybody! but, of course, these types of contradictions, they use fear, we use fear. are not an anomaly. not a bug in the n.r.a. system but a feature. at the heart of the n.r.a.'s message is don't let liberals say it's a dangerous world and scare you into gun control. let us say it's a dangerous world and scare you into gun-a-paloh, zza. but here's the problem. their message is a simple one. >> the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
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gli don't know about the only way. ( laughter ) but even if that's right, this is a question of how do you determine the bad guy and the good guy?ñr the good guy might turn into a bad guy and then he has a gun and the bad guy turns into a good guy. who are the bad guys. >> the founders also warned about a time when the government would take theñi guns. >> thiew knew that happens to governments, and governments turn against their people because the people go to sleep.i tyranny then would go undefeated. >> jon: by theçó way, monopoly of violence, worst monopoly game yet. so we got it-- government's the bad guy. gotta have guns as a bulled war, against tyranny. >> boston proves it. when brave law enforcement officers did their jobs in that
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city so courageously, good guys with guns stopped terrorists with guns. >> jon: got it. government's the good guy-- wait. ( laughter ) so the police are the good guys, and who they work for? the government. so you have no idea who the good guys are and the bad guys are. in fact, these guys aren't too sure about the difference between democracy and tyranny, either. >> i'll tell you, i was proud to join with my friends senator rand paul and senator mike leigh is writing a short and simple letter to harry reid that said we will filibuster any legislation that undermines the second amendment rights to keep and bear arms. >> jon: ooh! they did it. and their filibuster was able to defeat the gun control bill including the marchion-toomey amendment, supported by 90% of americanamericans and 55 out of0 senators. here is tyranny earlier, crews
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cruz talking about a gun rights bill he thwarted. >> that bill got 52 votes in the u.s. senate, including nine democrats. what happened? harry reid and the rest of the democrats filibustered the bill and killed it, demanding 60 votes.ñr >> jon: you know it's the same ( bleep ) thing, right? look, sheers what's crazy. we all want the same thing. bad guys not to have guns. some people, including myself, believe a good way to do, that at least to start, is too check who's buying them, or make the guns somewhat traceable so when the bad guys get them we can figure out how. not wait for a bad guy to draw and then draw faster. which, by the way, if that's what you want, okay. we'll have that debate, but stop prepping that background checks are the last barrier standing between a free america and obama-sponsored government mom
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rape. ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back. [ female announcer ] the one for all.
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on mcdonald's dollar menu. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight is the host of cnn international's amman porand the global affairs anchor for abc news. please welcome back to the program, christine amanpour. ( cheers and applause ) i want to talk to you, obviously, you know, you've been out there in the field and i want to talk, i guess, about the humanitarian crisis unfolding before everybody's eyes. how are things at cnn? ( laughter ) >> you'll be very happy to know that they are metric tons loads of good will at cnn, and this is
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going to be built by bigger and better -- >> you're coming back strok. >> strong. >> jon: oh, this is chinatowning. >> strong up and know what? i want to bet, and i will be wetting on cnn winning. and i think everybody will. >> jon: here's the thing that everyone else-- >> you need -- >> the only reason is because we care so much. >> exactly. >> jon: because cnn is-- it's got the infrastructure. it's t got all those good people and every time i turn it on i see somebody standing on a holodeck with a three-dimensional thing-- >> you haven't seen that for a while. >> jon: no, i haven't. >> it was fun and it was diched. but now new leadership. >> jon: here's what i say, empower amanpor. have you been to syria recently? >> not recently, no, i haven't but i'm covering it daily on my program which is on cnn international, and it's become almost front and center here in the united states right now because everybody's wondering will the u.s. do anything?
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there's a big debate going on. as you said, the humanitarian situation, not at cnn but in jordan and around the -- >> right. >> the neighborhoods there. >> jon: coming from syria, you've got 500,000 refugees pouring into jordan. i don't know how they have the infrastructure to deal with that? >> they don't. there are more than a millioning refugees. turkey, jordan, lebanon, and they're really stretching the resources, and that's why it's a very unstable problem. >> jon: judgey is that not more of the conversation? the conversation always seems to be do you want to put boots on the ground? do we want to fire tbroms here? what's the red line? if they cross that line, we'll have to shoot that guy. why also are the governments not mobilizing summit for these refugees? there are one million people -- >> the u.n. tries and the thing is, you know, there are a lot of refugee fatigue. there's a lot of crisis fatigue around the world. and the truth is those countries who are absorbing these refugees are doing the west a huge favor.
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because if they weren't, then what would be happening? more people would be slaughtered and more pressure would come -- >> they're doing the entire region a favor. but don't most of those countries close their borders? >> no, they're not closing their borders right now. >> jon: hasn't jordan taken reacting refugees and then syrian refugees? >> it's one thing after the next and jordan is not the richest country in the area. a very, very strong u.s. ally, and in fact u.s. special forces are there right now, all sorts of plans are being drawn up if in fact they do have to go in and secure chemical weapon sites. jordan is a key intelligence and military partner with the united states, and is taking, you know, hundreds of thousands of these poor men, women, and children fleeing the brutality. and -- >> are they get money? >> not enough. >> jon: we are sending all kind of 99 mann-- >> not enough to jordan. not enough to jordan. and they're worried they will break under the strain. and that's something we should all be worried about. >> jon: the serin gas was the red line. everybody said they cross that
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line, that's it. >> that's right. >> jon: they have apparently crossed that red line, and our response has been... i see a magenta, aibility of a maroon line. i see they've come across a certain area-- but isn't that because we just don't really know what to do? even if we want to. >> i think it's more don't want to do. president obama is about ending wars in the middle east. he does not want to go off into another war. and, you know, there's a lot of justification for why, certainly, the majority of the american people and american political leaders don't want to do that kind of stuff. but i think a case can be built and perhaps should be built to stop the slaughter. it's a moral imperative. and it's also a strategic imperative. bought bauz if it doesn't and it doesn't stop, it's going to really affect america's interests because, you know, i don't need to tell you or anybody in this country that what happens overseas eventually blows back here. >> jon: no, you do need to tell us.
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we've all been watching like, the voice." we don't know what the hell is going on. i don't need to tell you, you do need to tell us, and you're like i'm on cnn international. and they're all just running around boston like this. i just heard a dog! i don't know what the schedule going on! we do need it. that's why it's so crucial. all right, we're going to take a break and we'll come back with more of the wisdom from christine amanpour. we'll be right back.
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>> jon: welcome back. we're here with christine amanpour. here's the deal. here's why i think we're such naive children over here. i know-- i watch the government, and i feel like our problem-solving system is so dysfunctional right now. and i truly do believe in the press' power to be the clarifying-- have a clarifying role in that nonsense. >> i do. we were just talking, there's such massive issues, whether it's what you were talking about earlier gun control or whether it's about syria or whether it's about guantanamo bay. all of these things need discussing in a way that's not one side's talking points against another. real factual information that you can then decide one way or another, but hash them out. put all these, you know, real issues on the table and talk about them. and not just one political football after the other. and i think you're right. this is where the -- >> what type of wizardry do you speak, woman? >> i speak cnn wisdom. >> jon: don't make the sun go away!
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don't! don't do it! but why is that so difficult to do? why do the entrenched talking point powers have such a swayçó over the conversation? is it purely that they believe that that conflict is the most interesting and beneficial? >> i think possibly. but, again, i urge yovr to keep watching cnn, and there is much more intelligent conversation going on. and i think that's really -- >> tell me what time. baz i do watch it. in between when and when? >> from morning to night. >> jon: okay. all right. ( laughter ) are you sure you're watching cnn? >> i'm on it, i'm on it. >> jon: you are on it. here's the craziesting thing. we're talking about the syrian thing. apparently israel has no bombed syria, and now no one knows what to make of that, because the syrian rebels think great, that weakens assad and that helps us
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but we hate those guys. over there it seems like the enemy of my enemy is still ciemed of my enemy. >> you're absolute right about that. in this huge conundrum that developed over the weekend, basically israel had its own red line and it decided once it had been crossed it was going to take action so israel bombed what it says were a bunch of advanced weapons in-- you know, syrian military site coming from iran to hezbollah and that's the established route. and israel said, no, we're not going to allow that, but we're not get, involved in syria on the side of the rebels orñi against assad. we're just going to take care of this business. >> jon: holy smokes. >> and that's what they did. >> jon: if you think of this in terms of saudi, turkey, and saudi arabia, do they secretly watch that and oong because that weakens iran and they're kind of having a power battle there. >> they can never say, that but i think many countries would prefer not to see iran empowered. and suddenly one argument for(-s
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that will complete complooetly cripple hezbollah militarily. >> jon: then you get into these democratic movements. america, we're a spreader of freedom and democracy. that's what we spread. >> yup. that's a good thing. >> jon: egypt gets a little taste of freedom and democracy and they vote in people woe don't like, and they swhairks are you doing? and it should be a simple transition. the arab spring is going to be bumpy. don't we have to be patient? >> i think it will be bumpy and i think people are patient. to be fair, the obama administration actually started off and perhaps still is supporting the egyptian government because the egyptian government, despite the chaos on the street-- and you've had basam youseff, who is the best, they are still keeping agreements with the u.s., with israel. obviously it's really rocky and it's really bumpy. >> jon: and if they turn to tyranny hopefully they'll get
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overthrown. it's very interesting. i'm going to start watching the international show. >> do, do. >> jon: because i really. >> the whole thing. >> jon: did you hear there was a cruise ship, right, and everyone had diexprae they followed it for-- >> you're very bad. >> jon: gl and they left it in alabama and there's a guy there with a helicopter... christine amanpour, she's the best.çó
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>> the klan would kill anybody opinion theyñi love toñi kill blacks, what they really love to kill is what they call the radical republicans. what do you suppose the african american in 1850 could have done with a gun? a little less gun control would captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh - the one who plays jamie is not english. - he's not? - i don't know what nationality he is, but he's definitely not english. - that's amazing. he's got the most amazing--dog! - whoa! - come on, max, no. bad dog, bad. i'm so sorry. i just rescued him from a shelter. [dog barking fiercely] he seems to get really aggressive towards people with darker-colored skin. i'm so sorry. - don't worry about it. - yeah, i guess you never know what they've been through
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